Updated: May 10
Without a doubt, becoming a mother is the single, most cherished accomplishment of my life. I believe many women who've had children feel the same way. And every May, we celebrate the mothers in our lives, biological or not. Those women who have cared for us and so many around them.
But what about all those mothers whose children aren't here anymore? Whether from miscarriage, stillbirth, accident, disease, adoption...they are still Moms. What most people tend to do...is nothing. Say nothing. Avoid the subject altogether. Don't bring up Mother's Day because you don't want to add these bereaved parents' sadness. The thing is, that often tends to make it worse. To ignore their role of being a mother can be crushing.
This Mother's Day, I encourage you to be brave and begin a conversation with those women who have lost a child. In 2019, I had the opportunity to deliver a TEDx Talk on How and Why You Should Talk to Bereaved Parents. In my research for the speech, I learned a new word...vilomah. It's ancient Sanskrit and means "against the natural order." A perfect way to describe what being a vilomah feels like. Our children should not go before us. In my TEDx Talk, I share the Vilomah Voice Playbook, a simple, three-step process on speaking to bereaved parents, or vilomahs, as I now call myself.
Let’s start a conversation, I promise it will be worth it.
Grief - by David Kessler