After the fifth rejection. My memory forced me to own it. Closing my eyes, I heard the ocean refusing to stop begging. The chill from the wind hugging me unconditionally. Cars passing, causing the bridge to sing. Its voice sang me the immortal hymn. Rejected I open my eyes. Last support group interview, then I accept my fate. Interviewer “Do you have any recent thoughts of suicide?”. ”Yes, I do. Every morning I wake up without him. My spirit commits Suicide to spend the day with him.” I replied. “thank you, but we suggest to seek extra help before you’re accepted.” Interviewer suggested. ”My therapist told me that I’m ready. After 56 session, costing me $1,400. My psychiatrist‘s recipe kept me alive. Hybird Indica 34 keeps the screams at bay. I learned it’s cheaper to die, than rejection in mainstream society.“ silence confirms the rejection. The conclusion of ”I’ll speak to my supervisor“ made it overwhelming. Everyday passing day gravity gained 10 pounds on my chest. Laying on floor defeated, I heard the ocean. I closed my eyes and saw a blurry bridge. Inhaling for oxygen, but water consumed my lungs. I could hear the cars on the bridge singing. I felt the world has put me to rest. Why is this rejection heavy? Kiona Seufale